Lollaland Blog tagged "marriage" - lollaland

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When worlds [and families] collide - an impulsive rant

Posted on April 10, 2017 by Hanna Lim

Admittedly the past few weeks have been a bit of a rough patch for lolladad and me for various reasons. Today, we managed to record a podcast in the morning, make important decisions for our business, and shortly after get into a fight that ended in one of us storming off upset. The root cause of that fight...family and not seeing eye-to-eye.

I don't know about all of you, but my husband and I are incredibly close to our families, but we may need a break of some sort - for the sake of us. Don't get me wrong, I love our families deeply and I feel incredibly grateful for them, but these days, I feel like our families and the different value systems are actually causing problems in my marriage that otherwise would not have even been an issue. I guess the optimistic side of me could spin all the BS as challenging us to have difficult conversations and getting at the core of who we are, but the pessimistic, selfish side of me thinks if we were simply more distant, we wouldn't be dealing with any of this.

We come from seemingly similar yet fundamentally different families. For ten years, we've been able to skate by and cordially manage all the intensely complicated relationships and ways in which our families influence our everyday, but I am starting to wonder how much our families are affecting our happiness. Help~ how do I carefully extract all the amazing characteristics from each of our families and family members and pass that onto our daughters without imploding first?

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Marriage 101 - Appreciation

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Hanna Lim

The Pastor who married my husband and me required us to take a premarital class before saying, "I do."  The class served to enlighten us doe-eyed lovebirds about the realities of marriage.  He wasn't kidding - marriage is great, but it really is a lot of work.  The class covered common "issues" like money and family, but one topic that was emphasized during this crash-course in marriage was appreciation.  Life gets so busy at times that it's easy to forget to appreciate [and express that appreciation for] one another.

LollaDAD

Yesterday was Father's Day, and I had nothing but a deep appreciation for my husband and father of our three amazing girls.  I know that Father's Day was yesterday, but this week [and always], I want my husband to know:

  1. I am fully aware of all that he does: works, manages family drama, helps around the house, plays "princess" unabashedly with our daughters, and makes me laugh.
  2. I am grateful for his support through my rough patches.
  3. I value our friendship and love.

For those of you in a relationship, remember to appreciate and also feel appreciated!  Mark, I appreciate you - more than I show and say

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Happy Birthday, LollaDAD!

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Hanna Lim

I have never been very into birthdays, but my husband's family celebrate's everyone's birthday like it's his/her 21st.  Marriage is funny like that: two families, worlds, and traditions collide and you're left to adopt one family's ways or forge your own.  My husband and I have, for the most part, taken bits and pieces of our past and forged our own way and traditions for our immediate family.

Today is lollaDAD's birthday.  We got an early start and met his folks for breakfast, and they generously offered to have the kids sleep over tonight, so we will be going out for a quiet, s-l-o-w dinner to celebrate.  Tonight dear, let's not talk about work, life stresses, etc, but celebrate you and what this year has in store.  I love you more and more each year, and I'm looking forward to 2013.

Although we don't make a huge deal about our own birthdays, as parents, we feel it is our duty to make birthdays fun and important for our children.  When their birthdays come around, we do our best to really celebrate, whether it's with a party, special outing, or do-whatever-you-want kind of day.

Three years ago, I adopted a friend's birthday tradition.  Every birthday party this friend hosted, she had this colorful clown flag hanging somewhere around the festivities.  When I asked her about it, she said a family member had made the flag for her family, so it's been a tradition to hang it up during every family member's birthday.  I immediately fell in love with the idea.  I wasn't going to attempt to make a birthday-themed clown banner, so I went online and found a fabric "Happy Birthday" banner I liked and purchased it.  I now hang it up around the house for everyone's birthday.  I've also started writing what we did in celebration of each child's birthday on the back, so they'll always know exactly how we celebrated their special day every year.  Do you have any fabulous birthday traditions you'd like to share?

Our Family Happy Birthday Banner

Our Family Happy Birthday Banner

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Guest Post by LollaDAD

Posted on August 19, 2012 by Hanna Lim

20 years ago I was a pimply-faced eighth-grader who spent the entire day practicing this exact line, “will you be my girlfriend?”  At 2:45pm, I finally mustered up the courage to “ask her out” by the school gym, and thankfully, her answer was ‘yes!’  I know this sounds crazy, but after just a few months of dating her, I knew Hanna was the one.  In fact, I have hundreds of old letters to prove how confident I was.

6 years ago today we made it official and got married in Pasadena, California.  It was the happiest day of my life.  Not only was I marrying someone I admire so much, but she happened to be my very best friend. But who in the world knew that one day we would become business partners?

People warned me about working with my wife and I have to admit, I was a little worried too.  We are far from perfect and I didn’t want to strain our relationship by arguing over every little detail that goes into running a small business.  Having launched a small business before, I knew that the work environment can often be explosive and stressful.  After working on this project for a little over 2 years I’m surprised to find that we’ve somehow grown closer.

Hanna and I eat, breath, and sleep lollacup.  We take every piece of feedback personally, and we do our best to create a product/service that we would want for our own family.  To us, your kids and their experience with the lollacup means everything.

I’ll be honest, I’d much rather be celebrating our anniversary in Fiji... but working a tradeshow in New York was the next best choice. =)

Happy anniversary babe, love you always.

Mark

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What It's Like to Work with My Husband

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Hanna Lim

When we buy a home, I hope we find one with a double-sink/vanity.  It's silly, I know, but I just want my own sink space for once!  I'm pretty certain this desire stems from the fact that my husband and I spend every waking moment together.  Deciding to start a small business together was not an easy decision.  Before we made the first move, we had a long talk about how this was going to work and whether it would be wise to become business partners.

Our days are pretty crazy.  We get up early (when the kids get up), I make breakfast and pack school lunches, while Mark gets the kids dressed and ready for school.  We wolf down breakfast and run out the door.  Mark and I take turns dropping the kids off at school, so one of us is able to start the work day by 8 am.  Our office is in our attic, so we make the ridiculously nice commute upstairs, and start pounding away at all things Lollacup/Lollaland.  Before you know it, one of us has to pick the kids up from school, make/buy dinner, play with the girls for a little bit, and get them ready for bed.  After we put them down for the evening, we're back upstairs at work.  Having a home office is great for so many reasons, but it makes it impossible to stop working.

Each day feels much too short and chaos abounds, but here are the 5 things we focus on in order to make things work in Lollaland:

  1. Communication Skills - Mark and I have been "dating" since the 7th grade, so we've had a lifetime to work on our communication skills, and this is our biggest asset as a husband-wife team.  We have learned the importance of being direct, up-front, and clear with one another.  A smidgen of kindness in the tone helps too!
  2. Shared Vision/Goals - We are constantly reminding ourselves why we decided to start this company.  Without common goals, we'd probably have given up a long time ago.
  3. Defined Roles - Mark and I had many meetings early on to clearly define our roles in the company.  Although we are always backing each other up, we stay sane by "knowing our places/roles."
  4. Commitment - Obviously, if you marry someone, you are committing yourself to him/her, but working together on a business is another level of commitment.  Wedding vows come to mind - "in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow."  Any entrepreneur can tell you what a wild ride this is - sleepless nights, many bumps in the road, and feeling constantly over-worked.  We work hard, but always put our marriage/family first.  We make time to go on dates, and we try our best to laugh often and enjoy the ride.
  5. Encouragement - We celebrate every little "victory" and power through each and every hiccup.  We both have our "off" days, but we try and maintain a positive outlook and attitude.  I know it sounds obvious, but sometimes, all it takes is a little encouragement.  Literally, hearing Mark say, "You're handling all the stress so gracefully," makes my entire week and encourages me to work even harder.